This is a story of Two Bears who found each other because of they turned first to the person who mattered to them most.

To tell their story, PaPa Bear (a.k.a.Bim) wrote this for their wedding speech....

I am grateful to my father for teaching me the value of family life. He has sacrificed many things to bring my sister and I up the way we are. My father’s birthday just passed on 9 March. Celebrating it with him and mom has given me plenty of food for thought as I start my own family. Thank you dad, ma. I am grateful for your love and patience for me.

And for Ruth’s parents, I never dreamt I would marry a pastor’s daughter. I always felt I’d never measure up to the high standards that would demand. Mom, I remember one of the first conversations we had when you said Ruth was “very smart”. You were beaming with pride. Both of you have been very encouraging in many ways even though I’m sure I fall short too often. In Ruth’s thoughts and behaviour, I see glimpses of you. I am so grateful for the Love for music and Fear of the Lord that you have put in her. I thank you so much for giving me the chance to share my life with her.

Ruth and I would now like to thank a very special group of friends who came from all over the world to share today’s joy with us. Chong Wei, my secondary school prayer partner for coming from Canberra. He’s now on his way to Australia to celebrate another wedding. We would like to thank Michael Ling, our effervescent Californian buddy and who’s also my dive buddy. Jessie, Joe Good and Lauren, Ruth’s Northwestern Friends who came all the way from Chicago and Jakarta. Your presence has made the wedding very special.

I would also want to make special mention of our three stalwart wedding co-ordinators who were with us right from the start. After I proposed to Ruth in Sep last year, they went with us to Hanoi in October. Ruth and I truly appreciate your friendship and your tireless help. In fact, we have had so much fun planning this wedding with all of you that we almost wish we can do it again. A special thanks to Mel, my prayer partner all these years. Thanks for standing by me during some of the darkest periods in my life. Without your prayers and love, I don’t think I’ll be standing here today.

Our other helpers, Joel our banquet co-ordinator, Gerard and Clarissa for being our emcee for this evening. Rebecca, Ruth’s sister, for helping out at the reception. Many many Thanks.

Most couples would talk about how they met during their speeches, perhaps I can dwell a bit more on how we didn’t meet. In secondary 3, my ACS class went on a field trip to Malacca with the secondary 2 RGS girls. I remember sitting with Ruth’s friend, Eunice on the bus journey there, while Ruth remembered sitting with Eunice. None of us can remember each other though, and I wish we had the photos to show. I am glad to report to my History teacher, Mr Jalleh, who’s sitting here today with his wife, that the Malacca trip was most fruitful.

Next, after JC, we both applied for US universities. I applied to Yale and got in. Ruth applied the next year to Yale also and got in. We could have met then, but Ruth decided to go to Northwestern because she thought Yale was too snobbish. Another missed chance.

To make things more interesting, Ruth then applied to go to Cambridge in the UK to do her junior year abroad. I too was in Cambridge at about the same time doing my Masters. Needless to say we did not meet.

When we looked back together at our lives, it seemed as if we led parallel lives. We both read Politics and International Relations in College. We both wrote the same political science theses on Asian Values – we even reached the same conclusions in our separate papers. As to what conclusion that was, you’d have to ask us in private.

And just before we decided to go out, we both reached a point in our lives when we had decided that we would quite happily single and serving God’s people in church. Recently, when we were unpacking the books we had collected in our new house, it was eerie how many books we had in common. It merely confirmed what I knew in my heart by then – that Ruth had actually been spying on me all these years.

But really, our greatest similarity was how much we both wanted a life that did not put each other in the center of our lives. We were both sinners very aware of our fallen nature.

As such, we always had a third party in our relationship. A third man, the son of Man, our Lord and Saviour. The best thing we learnt early in our relationship was always to get down on our knees to pray whenever we fought. It has literally worked miracles. Thanks Jessie for telling us always to “pray pray pray”.

Many of our friends have asked us why we got engaged so quickly after barely 10 months of courtship. The answer is very simple. Every person I talked to about Ruth told me that I was very lucky man to find such a wonderful woman. And every person Ruth talked to about me told her that I was very lucky. Realising that no one told Ruth how lucky she was to find me, I sensed an arbitrage situation … an opportunity I had better seize before she realized what a bad deal she got.

This wedding has been memorable in many ways. Ruth’s gowns were designed by Steve Chia’s wife, Doreen. The news broke out on the unfortunate situation shortly after we signed the contract. We feared we wouldn’t get our gowns and suits. But we thank God truly for her reconciled relationship with her husband and a truly wonderful job with the embroidery.

We are also getting married when the Great Marriage and Baby debate is getting much air time. A friend told us the date was also very auspicious. In Cantonese, 13 Mar is “sum yet sum”, which literally means give birth and give birth some more.

Auspicious things aside, we’re also going to Spain for our honeymoon next week. When we heard about the tragic bombings in Madrid, it seems almost too coincidental to be true. We ask for your prayers for our safety and also prayers for the people who had lost loved ones.

To end the speech, I asked Ruth whether she wanted me to say anything on her behalf. She joked that I could talk about a juicy steak. SO to humour her and to torture all of you, I pray for your patience as I read to you an extended metaphor in verse on exactly why “or Love is Like a Juicy Steak”:

In New York I thought things through
Random emails thanks to cheng-hu
To this sweet girl whom I once knew
From bible study – oh if only she knew.

Came back home, I asked her out for chicken rice
Around Pandan reservoir we walked and talked
I liked her more and more the more she talked
And I loved her all the more when I heard her sing.

Have you heard Ruth sing?
You wouldn’t believe there could be a better thing.
But it wasn’t her voice that brought us together
It was the maker of that voice who knew better.

In case you’re still waiting for the juicy steak
Ruth and I had some good ones on our dates
At Morton’s and Lawry’s and perhaps soon Just Steak
I heard they’ve got potatoes nice and thick.

But my love for Ruth is indeed like Steak;
It is tender at the right places, our conversations meaty.
Though she’s quite a small cut,
sometimes she can be quite saucy.

Bottomline, I can’t say no to such a dish
Ruth, my dear, you’re all I need for my Atkins Diet,
You make me run amok with joy in my heart,
burn my fat with laughter. Hug me to kill my spare tyres.

You’re comfort food, rich food, food for the soul.

I wish everyone will find their juicy steak one day
I’ve got mine, and she knows I’m here to stay.

I love you, Ruth.
Thanks for agreeing to marry this gluttonous sinner.