So I am 31
There's something anti-climatic about being 31. Please don't mistake me -- every birthday is as enjoyable, esplecially when one wakes up to a CYC shirt from wife. But there's a decidedly middle-age feel to being 31. Aw come on! those in their 40s and 50s will scream; but honestly, think back when you were 31. It felt like you had gone being in the swinging twenties and found yourself firmly in a mid-life land. Not that this is a bad thing; I am actually enjoying it very much. Teenage angst feels like a bad dream, and loneliness? Hmm.. Yes, I vaguely remember how miserable it felt, especially on a long stretch.
Of course, life isn't without trouble. Just this morning, I was conned like a tourist in my own land at the Underwater World. "Free Photo Taking" says the sign -- "photo printing" on the other hand .... The challenges of life are less immediate and obvious. The pitfalls have nice thick leaves covering their gaping mouths. For one, it is easy to get complacent in midlife. You've got a house, a car, a wife, and a very cute baby, and you think life can't be better. I was talking to PE who was back in Singland for a 3 weeks recently. He said he was browsing some books and one caught his eye: "Don't Waste Your life". I believe it was a book by John Piper. I love Piper (am devouring his "God is Gospel" now). I read through the except of the book and it was about how easily life could have gone astray in the midst of comfort and worldly dreams.
At 31, it is too late to "start again" (not that I want to). Most of life's major decisions have been made. I have chosen the woman who will "grow old with me". And we have chosen to have a son who will be our responsibility till we breathe our last. I am very happy with those decisions. Now what? Now, as it has always been, is to thank God for his blessings and to use these gifts for his purposes.
So if there's a prayer for me; it will be to hang fast to him in love (Psalm 91), even as life appears to be more settled, and I more content. My present state is not an end in itself -- it is the foundation that God has given me that I don't deserve, for the good works he has prepared in advance for us to do. (Eph 2:10)
