This ad almost caused an accident. I was disoriented for a while when I saw it, tried to crane my neck round to read it. After I got over the initial sense of "wah?!" I thought it was rather clever of the ad chaps. Makes you think twice. There's something powerful about ads that make you "feel" or go through a physical/emotional experience that they're trying to warn you of. I guess it's a bit like the camera in "SuperSizeMe" going haywire and making you feel sick in the stomach (as if you're not already). Or the Blair Witch Project camera running like an out of breath asthmatic. Neither of which movie I've seen actually. Which brings me to the point of 2nd-hand experience. Sometimes we live our lives through others, and deprive ourselves of "living it" first-hand. Which is kinda like the blog isn't it? Peeking into someone's life -- hey dude, get a life of your own! =)

I found this rather frightening photo of myself in JC1 in the Temasek JC canteen, still in my ACS uniform with my pal from ACS, Gerald. The frightening thing, I realise, were my glasses. I mean, we make fun of all those folks with bell bottoms and thick dark rim glasses, until we realise we were actually like that once (in the 1990s). Horror. But it brought back memories -- memories of days lived with hope. Had I known that I would end up one day where I am, would I have felt so much hope? That's an interesting one to sleep on tonight.

This was the friendly starbuck roving market researcher who pounced on me the day I blogged the entries below. "Sir, want to try some of Starbucks' coffee flavoured mooncakes and tell me what you think?" I thought they were horried. But full marks for his hospitality =)

a tough day

The stresses of work continues to weigh me down with guilt. i wish i've got more time with my wife, friends, and colleagues. in my conversations with them, i know they wish i can slow down, have more time with them, listen to what they have to say. in my marriage so far, Ruth has taught me much about the value of taking time to listen. so it's a real struggle, between focusing on the task or focusing on the people. i know i much prefer the latter, but the former is just so pressing. or so it seems.

i just saw Dr Ravi again for my sleeping problems. it was a short consultation. $100. i told him i couldn't keep up with the costs. he said he'd refer me to another specialist at SGH next month. he asked me to remove my tonsils. they are just too huge he says.

i then had some time to either rush back to office or work from home before meeting with the rest of the 20fc mates. i decided to stay, hence the time to sit here at star bucks to send a remote blog, to think amd reflect. i'm glad i did. i took some time to browse thru the magazine stand. read up more about the latest digital cam offerings. took my mind off work. it's good. to sit in a cafe and watch life go by a little and see how others get on with their lives.

yes, truly, how we lose ourselves in our work. we forget what life means. socrates said an unexamined life is not worth living. how worthless our lives become when we lose sight of life itself.

i received an email encouragement from my colleagues. it was very nice. made me feel warm. it's nice to be told one is appreciated. i should do more of that.

ok. back to my padaeia program book and people watching. :-)

signing off at the paragon.

A BirthDay Surprise For the Tally

I don't have a picture of the dirthday dinner with my mom. It was held at the Sichuan restaurant at the Park Plaza Hotel. Amazing deal $28 pax ala carte buffet, with 20% off for UOD card members and a free 0.5 kg birthday cake to top it off! Sis took some photos so I guess it'll have to wait till she's sent them to me .. in the meanwhile, yes, it is YET another birthday in the same week. This time it's Hsien Min's. Quiet unassuming Hsien Min. Called it a housewarmery, but it was actually his birthday. He pulled the same one last year, but Elaine and a couple of other regular chaps remembered. It was an apt gathering -- Peng Fong (also in the pix) had just proposed to Cindy -- big day is in June next year. Ruth had a good time running down the bride2b's laundry list. We had great fun trying out HM's mystery wine (Damn Chialat) from Vietnam. Had my first perrier in a can. quite refreshing. HM has got a lovely place Gilstead Road for a very fair sum of $1300/month. A stone throw from Newton MRT. Just got my tax bills for the car and also reminders to renew the insurance. Shheshh ... I should simplify life a little -- Ruth just said.

Now this ... this is the leftover shrimp head on Ruth's plate towards the end of our Epicurean dinner set at the Cliff (@ Beaufort). An amazing dinner. I got her to bring a long her passport for Sentosa. Quite an evening. We ended walking to "Asia's Southernmost Point". Quite tacky but it was a very pleasant evening and the stars were out. Couldn't have asked for a better time with her on her birthday. I think she liked it =) ....

It was a week of birthdays. First Ruth's Mom, then Ruth, then my mom. The picture is of the first one. Ruth baked a lovely chocolate cheesecake (with strawberry toppings) and the birthday girls are greedily digging into the mound of of rich delights .... must say I was quite impressed with my wife. Dinner was excellent. Everyone brought potluck.. we had curry, tofu, fishballs, pork knuckles ....

So there I was, walking round the estate, looking for sour cream for Ruth's cheesecake, and I came upon this sign along Everton Road. Brought to mind Louis Armstrong's big hit, "Gone Fishing." Got me thinking about life in general, which was especially poignant given that I had a bad end to the work week with my boss rather upset with me for failing to get a particular piece of work done well.

I had actually been thinking alot about work and how much space I should leave to get the rest of living done. While I know God wants us to work hard, and that work does matter to God, I can't help but feel that I am missing out so much more. This world is a beautiful place. God created it. It's gorgeous. As a Christian hedonist, one should park some time to enjoy it. To enjoy what God has done.

So is work merely a means to enjoying God's creation? Or should the work itself be meaningful and intensely satisfying as work *is* part of God's creation? I can sense that Ruth is grappling with these issues too. Oh by no means am I complaining that work is unbearable -- I know it can be much worse. But I do feel intensely unsatisfied, unsatiated. Challenging work need not be overwhelmingly heavy. It needs to engage the mind and heart of the worker.

Just last week, someone said that if you wake up every day wishing you don't have to go to work, you're probably in the wrong line. Not quite there yet, but I did promise Ruth I would put more thought into my ideas of working for the museum, or even for ACS. Time to add more flesh to some of these ideas.

In the meantime, we owe Caesar what is Casesar's, but as Mel pointed out, we're made in the image of God, and we owe God our whole lives ....

So, wanna go fishing with me? Can't wait to get my feet soaked in the wash of the sea.